My Online Diary

Hey! It's been a long time since I last posted. It's the end of the year now and I feel like there are just so many things in life that is going on that I want to rant about.  Adulting is hard and relationship is hard to maintain :'( I really felt dam sad when I wasn't invited to a Christmas Party that I've been going for 3 years just because they really don't want my partner to be around. No mention about it not even last minute. I mean I know it is happening but I'm not sure whether I should ask about it since they did not mention it to me. Honestly, I'm very confused cause like I think they wont stop me if I asked about it but at the same time I feel sad that they didn't ask me.  I was so upset that when I saw the post on Instagram, I DM-ed the host to asked her why I was not invited. I later deleted the message (before she sees it) cause it's kinda pointless since it already happened and that I can guess the answer and it's probably not g

It seems like it's pretty hard for me to stick to the goals I have set due to me always procrastinating. I am always giving in to the monkey in my head. The battle against the need for instant gratification is real.  I want to reap the results but I don't really want to work for it :(.  While it doesn't sound fair but then that's what it is. Right now, I really just want to work on finding a system that will work for me at home and at work so that I can become more productive, organized and actually gives great output instead of wasting precious time on things that does not matter as much. Work has been hectic as there is a lot of things to handle right now. Yet I still find time to procrastinate whenever I get small and little things done. I think that should not be the case cause the project needs to be completed by November and we are still trying to figure out what is happening. Seems like I really need to step up my game and start to push for more output else I wil

2 days ago, we are hit with a sad news. Coco Lee have chosen to end her life after suffering from depression. While I never really follow her, but her song "so crazy" was a song which I grew up listening to. It is really a pity that such a talent like her choose to end her life.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkBQQvfbAdc After watching videos and reading articles about her life now that her life has ended, I feel like she has been very brave and really tried to live life to the fullest every day. It's a pity she didn't held on longer. I hope she is now freed from sufferings and can now rest in peace.

Time is really something you need to grab on to. It's precious yet it is easily wasted. There were many times whereby I wanted to bring some order to my life by setting targets and routines. Yet I fail again and again due to lack of discipline. No motivation and discipline to finish what I have started.  I know it is affecting my everyday life but it is so hard to change! Habits are hard to change and that whatever changes made can easily be reverted once the motivation is gone. :( It's been a good 6 months since I last posted and so much have happened in my life. One thing that remain constant and maybe gotten even worse is my procrastination bug. The monkey in my head that just want to play and play all day instead of working for things Biggest change in my life is I finally get the keys to my house! Renovation is currently taking place and I couldn't wait for renovation to be completed! We decided to proceed with the renovation with an ID instead of finding individual co

It is now the last quarter of the year ! It’s been a long time since I last posted anything. Ever since I’ve quitted my degree course, I have been even more obsessed with progression in the game I’ve been playing and have not improved in many things. Even for what I said I will do on my previous post moving forward, I have never really done any of them. So far I have tried my first live twitch and I’m not sure if that is what I want to keep doing in the future. I will probably continue next year when I have my own place. Otherwise it is hard for me to come out with a fixed schedule to be streaming & not disturb anybody. As for my Youtube Channel, I wrote previously that I wanted to publish my first video in June but I procrastinated till September and finally did the first upload of my life. On June, I was almost completing the editing of my first video which I did using windows editor (Cause it’s a free software) but after completing and rendering the video from the video editor